Writer Identity Crisis

17 May

When you are on the hunt for a literary agent, you can’t help but contemplate the future. This may or may not involve limo rides with famous authors, chocolate fountains in your kitchen, a mansion with a secret bookcase door that leads to your writing lair, a butler with an Irish accent, book signings every month, fan mail every day and of course having your books turned into a TV series. Okay, this may be more daydreaming than contemplating, but I’m a writer, so I’m a dreamer.

The thing is, when you are thinking about your writing career, you think about the kind of books that are to come and how they will brand you as an author. Personally, I already have several ideas for stories and have started on about five of them. But when you’re very serious about having a writing career, as opposed to just writing for fun, you see your stories in a different light. In the spotlight. You have to thoroughly analyse them as if they are a piece of evidence in a murder case and you’re the lead detective. Especially when you’re a perfectionist, this can be tricky. But I suppose most people, when serious about writing, think about what kind of writer they want to be and what kind of works they want to be associated with throughout their career. And it’s good to think about this. Still, I couldn’t help but feel a bit gloomy about this for the last few days. It wasn’t until a chat with one of my Twitter buddies, that I realised it wasn’t just me, other writers go through this too. So, yay, I’m normal! And yes, it takes a stranger to confirm this for me.

So now comes the (less hard, but still) hard part. Brainstorming on the kind of stories I want to write. My Twitter buddy gave me simple, but good advice. Advice that is pretty much given to any person early in their lives (at least, if they have loving parents), which is: BE YOURSELF. My first story is definitely me, even my ninja readers told me so. But I knew it too and I’ll know it again. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to write what you know, you can go out of your comfort zone. As long as your story contains elements that are very YOU. The ‘you’ can lie in the narration or any other occurring element. Which is easier said than done, I know. As I’m writing this, I’m already contemplating pulling my hair out and hurling my laptop out of the window like it’s a diseased rat. No, I’d never do that to my laptop, he’d never let me forget it.

I suppose the main thing that scares me is the not knowing. Not knowing what kind of author I’ll be. How well I’ll do. And I suppose once you have an agent and a support team around you, it gets (a bit) easier. I shouldn’t be impatient. I want my dream to begin, but I can’t rush it. I have to trust that the raindrops will fall around me. In any case I’ll keep trying, I’ll keep writing. Being scared is okay, as long as you don’t let it stop you from trying.

One story at a time.

 

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4 Responses to “Writer Identity Crisis”

  1. mothermi6 May 17, 2013 at 6:05 pm #

    Fantastic first paragraph about the chocolate fountain et cetera and all our hopes for a famous – and luxurious – future! The cat photo is interesting; I think he’s actually yawning!
    Evangeline

    • pfeatherstonehaugh May 17, 2013 at 6:22 pm #

      Thank you, Evangeline!
      I think it is yawning too. But I can relate to the cat. Wanting something you can’t reach. But we won’t let that stop us! In fact, we’ll try harder. We’ll get that rat! *roars*

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    • pfeatherstonehaugh July 22, 2013 at 7:24 pm #

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